holy crap - 2 months!

It feels like only yesterday that I posted last. Apparently it's been 2 months.

I'm currently sitting in my living room with an industrial restoration fan going. There was a bit of a leak  and my dishwasher may need to be repaired. Tonight, however, I have to try and sleep with this thing going.

We'll see how that goes.

Anyways, award for best website this week is: GraphJam: Pop culture for people in cubicles.

I work with a lot of graphs and such at work. So many sometimes that I want to scream and run far away; avoid it all together. But then I think, "What about KPI's - won't somebody please think of the KPI reports that need to be done in order to quantify that we are on target and doing what we are supposed to be doing?"

A picture is worth a thousand words, according to my project management instructor. But how about a giggle every now and then? That's why I love GraphJam, it's everything that a pop culture whore like me needs when I'm having a stressful day at the office. That's pretty much going to be the next 6 weeks for me.

I'm imagining things already: customers complaining, emails piling up, items not processed and all for a 3 day course. Is it worth it? We'll see on Monday. Hopefully GraphJam will have something to cheer me up.

This weekend is the birthday of one of my best friends. It's definitely been a project to manage but I think things will work out. Hopefully everyone shows up and eats and contributes a bit towards the coffer. And of course the hope that the ex-bf doesn't bring his current gf (who I suspect he bought a corset (piece of lingerie) for WELL before we split) and her daughter. But that would be in a perfect universe.

On another topic: I hate cell phones. People: if you are out with someone or talking to them (in person) DON'T ANSWER IT. That's what voicemail is for. Let them leave you a message. Honestly, I feel like a second class person sometimes, especially when they are really long discussions. I'm not saying I follow my own rules 100% but I try and make sure that it's only important phone calls that I get. But really, I love my cell phone. I got rid of my landline because no one would call me on it. I rarely used it and it was a waste of $25 a month. MAYBE, if Telus got its act together and offered Telus TV in my area, I would combine all of services and get internet, tv and a land line with them. But they are stalling and say that they are "working on it." For now, Shaw gets my money.

That's it! Good night! Happy readings! I'm off to my bed then maybe the gym tomorrow morning at the evil hour of 6:00 am and a sub-terran class on project management.

Oh, and here's a feel good photo for all the ladies:

i *heart* postsecret

Posted everyone Sunday (and sometimes earlier), PostSecret, oddly enough, often describes exactly my current feelings.

I found this postcard recently:

At first I thought damn, that's totally me.

Then, I realized - what if I was never actually in love. But I was instead in love with the idea of being in love. Of someone caring about me, supporting me, being a partner in life, something I didn't get. I sure loved the idea of it and tried damn hard to give it and get it.

make the drilling stop!

It's been an interesting few weeks and a bit. I went through a real angry period but I finally allowed myself to release it and not blame myself anymore.

So that being said I'm feeling way better and on a roll.

Except for today when I woke up with a migraine, went to work and stayed until 2:30 then came home and had a nap only to wake up to the neighbour drilling into the concrete walls. Luckily it was just the tail end of my migraine so I survived.

I've found lately that going to the gym is addicting. I have to work out nearly every day or at least get out of the house. It's good to have a focus and goals. Now I just have to work on the foodstuffs.

I've been rather social lately and I can't believe I stopped or slowed down with hanging with my friends when I was with someone. I must resolve to never allow hat to happen again. Ever.

Now, where did the sun go?

hold your tongue

There are a lot of really mean things that I could say right now cuz I am REALLY drunk, but I won't. Okay, most of the mean stuff is about the ex. But I have to be dignified, right?

Anyways, I was on the bus to and fro a friend's house today when the bus went by a gas station (the Mohawk on Clark/Como Lake) and I realized that when I was 18 my bf at the time and I were on our way to Whistler when he got a text message from someone. He ignored it and went in to pay for the gas. I, meanwhile, checked the text message and it was from his ex.

I have to ask myself. What the fuck is wrong with the guys I attract/am attracted to? Honestly? They need a do-over.

Lo-serrrrs.

My funny valentine

It's already the best Valentine's Day in about 2 years.

Last year was shit. Absolute shit. The year before that, well, interesting.

This year - I already got two packages of chocolate and a secret valentine in the mail today!

I was totally surprised!

No return address, no writing inside. I'll have to work on decyphering the hand-writing. I have a few ideas. I'm just curious about who actually knows the name of my apartment building......

The sleuthing begins....

Oh - here's the picture on the front of the card. Someone knows I like pink.

17 years

It was 17 years ago today that my Papa passed away.

Being the only grandchild that may really remember him is a little sad. Especially since I may be the only one to remember him before he had the stroke that would confine him to a wheelchair for the rest of his life.

I was also the only one of my siblings to attend his funeral. I was only 8 years old at the time and my siblings even younger. The day he passed away my family was just moving back to Vancouver after living in the Okanagan for 1.5 years. We missed seeing him by mere hours. It was a Saturday.

I remember arriving at my other grandparents' house and my mom getting a phone call. I just remember her face. I don't think she even said anything. She didn't need to.

We used to play the 6/49 together and I'd get to fill in the spaces, I'd ride with him in his wheelchair when at the mall and that he always had lifesavers, especially in the hospital: butterscotch.

So, Papa, today we think of you, and remember.

2 very happy stories today

I was so happy when I logged onto BBC this morning.

I always knew that there was a really good reason that I wore heels - apparently they can be good for your sex life! Personally, I don't really believe the science stuff but I definitely feel a hell of a lot sexier in heals.

Then, just five minutes ago I read that an Arrested Development movie has been approved! Now, I only started watching the show recently on CBC but I love it, I just wish they had never cancelled it. Maybe they'll make a triumphant comeback because it was/is a brilliant show.

Next topic/current thought on my mind: How some people that seem so critical and important to your life can simply disappear (and you may not even miss them). I know, I know. I'm being mean. But deal with it.

wanna know what's REALLY cool

Well, it certainly isn't finding pictures of your ex-boyfriend's CURRENT girlfriend on  your computer. Not Facebook, not online, no, ON MY OWN COMPUTER.

Downloaded from somewhere or someone (and of course not by me).

It makes me wonder a few things:

-Was there anything sparking between the two of them while we were still together?

-Is the reason I got NOTHING for our 1 year anniversary (okay, I got a card AFTER I told him I was upset) because he spent all his cash going out for drinks with her?

AND....through the power of our good friend Facebook - I can now tell them less than 3 weeks after we broke up, he was in a relationship with her.

Hmmmm - didn't I ask him on December 8th if he was seeing her and he said no? 

Yeah, all this on top of a cold/flu makes me feel fabulous. BUT, I know I made the right choice. She can find out what dating someone with no ambition and lots of debt and a porn collection that would shock Hugh Hefner.

seeeck

I knew it was coming, it was only a matter of time.

I'm sick. I've never sneezed so much, sometimes six in one go. 

I left work early today and I'm not 100% sure if I'll go in tomorrow.

Having recently purchased the first 4 Harry Potter DVDs (for only $30) I've got lots of stuff to keep me entertained.

scariest thing ever!

I saw one of the scariest things this morning:

BIG NEWS FROM THE BOYS OF OUR PRE-TEEN DREAMS.

OMG, yes - there is talk of a NKOTB reunion. Since I didn't see them in concert in the 80s perhaps I'll get a chance this time?
Now where's my Donnie doll....

surprise of the night

Who knew that getting your legs and toes waxed would hurt more than a Brazilian?
WHAT. THE. FUCK?

I don't know why, maybe I'm just desensitized?

Anyways, just my thought for the day.

It's a full moon, something must be up.

nothing like a good book

This past month I have had A LOT more time to read. Plus I've felt more comfortable reading at home. It's bright with natural light in my new place. So, again, I've read a lot more in the past few weeks.
I've read The Kite Runner, A Thousand Splendid Nights, White Oleander, The Gum Thief and The Virgin Suicides. I'd have to say not too bad!
BTW: I found this on Post Secret and had to laugh.



But last night I decided to go see a movie. For weeks I've been promised to go see The Golden Compass but I've given up hope on that.
So last night I saw "The Kite Runner". Given that the book was amazing and unbeatable in film-version, the movie was pretty good. The young boys did an amazing acting job and the scenery was more spectacular than I could have imagined.
Ultimately, the book and film both give hope that Afghanistan was once a beautiful place that was more civilized, and that it can be once again.
One can only hope.

I had a massive headache last night and got about 10 hours of sleep. I'm hoping that was my "Sunday headache". Today's schedule includes doing a thorough cleaning of my apartment and 40 mins or so in the infrared sauna - YAY! Good sweat.

*ack ack*

My left gland under my jaw is swelling up a bit. I really hope this doesn't mean I'm getting sick.
I don't want to be sick.
Every time I get sick I drop off 'the plan': that cannot happen this time. It simply cannot.

Current schedule;
Monday: gym (45 mins)
Tuesday: gym 45 mins)
Wednesday: gym (45 mins)
Thursday: gym (45 mins) swimming (30-45 mins)
Friday: usually my day off
Saturday: long walk up the city of hills, mat exercises and stairs
Sunday: long walk up the city of hills, mat exercises and stairs



Favourite breakfast:
oatmeal with raisins, cinnamon and chopped up apple

Yeah, exciting I know.
I think I need to go out dancing again. Maybe call in the girls for a Blarney night. But that will have to wait until payday. The budget is a little bit tighter now that I have to pay my full rent and utilities. ALTHOUGH at least I know that I can pay the rent and not worry about another person asking for a week's extension.

putting it all into words

So, yeah, I haven't posted in a long time.
I know it's been a while and I've been thinking about what to write, but everything sounds a hell of a lot better in my head; rather than on paper (read: website).

I realized that a few days ago was 2 months. Two months since feeling loved.
But loved by a single person.
However I realized that my friend' love is hell of a lot more fun and supportive.

First loves are rough. Like, REALLY fucking rough. Especially when they end.
At first I felt like an absolute failure. I mean absolute. I tried everything to make life easier: lunches made, laundry dinner, romantic evening in Whistler [which turned out to be the biggest fucking waste of money EVER].
But do I want to take it all back? No. Well, okay, maybe sometimes I do, but then the logical side of me comes out. I've learned that if another person isn't willing to put the same effort into a relationship then they don't love you. And a thousand splendid drunk rambles about how amazing and wonderful you are DO NOT CUT IT. Especially if they are never repeated when sober.

But the past week and a half has been good. I am in control of my life. I have been eating well. Working out at least 6 times a week (including gym AND swimming on Thursday). And reading. I missed reading and enjoying quiet time: no music.
I cook what I want. I watch what I want on tv and listen to whatever music I enjoy and am in the mood for. PLUS my alcohol supply is still in tact. Plus I have reconnected with awesome friends (THANK YOU!)
(Oh, and get this: I can go into crowded places and not listen to people being called stupid and idiots.)

Today was an interesting time though.
I woke up around 8am, went for my usual up-the-hill and around the promenade walk then went downtown for coffee (BTW: it is possible to go for coffee other than sbux in Vancouver). On the skytrain ride back I had to ring the alarm for security because a drunk guy was causing trouble. Yeah, I might get a call from the police for a report. It was exciting!

I love waking up early on weekends and enjoying the quiet.

cure for the common hangover

Hahahaha - no hangover today!
Happy New Year everyone!
I found this site that may help you fix yourself up after last night's festivities.

Hangover Cures


PS - I have lots to write but I need a good greasy breakfast first (last one for a LOOOONG time)